Category: On the Blaze

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On the Blaze

If These People Aren’t on Your Twitter TL, Your Twitter Isn’t Complete

Twitter isn’t all that unlike from many Nigerian markets. Everyone is welcome to enter, and after spending some time there, you won’t be as astonished by what your two koro koro eyes are seeing.

If you use Twitter correctly, you should see all of these people on your timeline (TL).

Alpha males

“As a guy, you ought never to be seen with an umbrella. Declare your authority by telling the rain, “If you touch me, I’ll smack you.” Become a man.

People who get upset at everything

It could be just them.

Those who must always hold divergent opinions

These people wait for everyone to establish an opinion before stating the exact opposite—while still using bbuzzwords, mind you—in an effort to appear educated. “Some of us are wise, every other person overwise,” as Ololade mi Asake once said.

Christians

On the TL, someone is constantly extolling the virtues of Christ or another favorite deity. Additionally, you’ll see someone post a testimony of a miracle God performed for them online.

Always eager to drag Christians are certain individuals.

These people are ready to pull anyone who mentions the name “Jesus” if they hear it used in this manner. So Jesus kept you from dying, I see. Why didn’t he save everyone else who perishes every day?

Relationship people

You’re browsing Twitter alone, trying to find something to distract you from the breakup text you just got. The next thing you know, you’re wondering if you’re actually a real human being or a potato after seeing a picture of individuals celebrating their 12-year anniversary with before and after pictures.

Football people

Possibly the most insane but also the funniest folks on the platform. You’ll be OK if you let them carry on with their banter. Anything you receive if you, a non-football person, try to criticize their club or favorite players, consider it as such.

Doctors

Since I receive all of my unsolicited medical advice from Twitter doctors, I haven’t visited the hospital in years. Regards, folks.

Comrade and vawulence people

It reminds me of insects. You can’t really see them right away (TL). However, as soon as you open the cabinets, you’ll notice them swarming all over the place in their vast numbers. To make sure everyone is comfortable while watching the “vawulence,” they even offer refreshments and seats.

Follow for follow people

No Twitter user should have fewer than 8,000 followers, ifb. Let’s begin a thread that is follow for follow. Those who liked this tweet should be followed. I’ll go back with everyone else. this significant 2022. SMH.

UI/UX Design Twitter

These people are always “experimenting” with Figma and “inadvertently” creating well-planned product designs.

Influencers

Twitter serves as their workplace. Do they actually use the things they’re promoting, or are they just getting paid to say that? Don’t worry, it’s never really challenging to tell.

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On the Blaze

All The Many Questions That Are Possibile When Beginning A New Job

Congratulations! You have been hired. has a distinctive type of anxiety.

At that point, your village’s imposter syndrome starts to make an appearance, with queries like, “Can you perform? How much time will it take for them to realize you’re a fraud?

There are further issues with the new 9–5, particularly in Nigeria, that are more work-related. So what are a few of these problems?

Where do they sell food?

I don’t play with food, and neither should you, as you can see. Finding out where the sweetest yet most reasonably priced food is sold is crucial on the first day of a new job. Never let capitalism triumph.

How many toilets are there?

We require time, music, and adequate solitude to conduct our business since we have shy sphincters. Because there is only one restroom in the office, you don’t want to have a situation where people are pounding on the door. I even suggest include “how many toilets do you have in the company” as one of the interview questions.

Hope they don’t owe salary?

The suffering shall never return. especially if you have gone through something similar in the past. One of the many inquiries that niggles at the back of your mind is this one.

Okay, what time do we close?

There are some 9–5 jobs that are actually 24-hour jobs. You may be wondering whether this is one of those, but hopefully it isn’t.

Is there December bonus?

Please, aid. God bless you and thank you.

What’s the cost of transportation?

Are there any delays on my commute? How much of my pay goes toward that and do I need to take five buses, a boat, and two flying carpets to go to work?

Can we work from home?

Please. I’m not good with traffic jams. Please.

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On the Blaze

What if these Nigerian musicians were your classmates in secondary school?

Think of this as your yearbook if you were a member of the Class of 2022. These are the traits of the classmates you have. Let’s go!😂

Portable

The class’s huckster. He always has rips in his uniform from fights. On his head is a lapalapa. Teachers do not make an effort to make sure he knows what they are saying. They already know he won’t listen.

Tiwa Savage

tiwa savage
tiwa savage

She is the class’s hottie. Boys in your class that smell bad don’t even bother to approach her. She only hangs out with senior boys. Her attire? always spotless.

Burna Boy

burna boy
burna boy

His parents are wealthy, and he previously attended school abroad, but as a punishment, he is now back in Nigeria. He is now the privileged kid in the class who avoids all other students. He can’t tolerate Portable, and everyone else smells.

Tope Alabi

Give your life to Christ is what she has written on her desk. She leads the group in praise and worship each morning as the chapel prefect. She takes the lead and responds to queries as though it were a contest. In CRK, she has never received anything less than an A. She’s the only member in your group whose uniform wasn’t slim-fit.

Ayra Starr

ayra starr
ayra starr

Prefect of society. She literally puts forth good vibrations. There is never a dull moment with her.

Teni

She is mean. She is feared not only by juniors, but also by the boys in her class. She always occupies the last seat in the group. She also takes her phone to class.

Rema

rema
rema

Rema is only interested in going to English class because he loves the teacher. You know if you know, right?

Dwin the Stoic

He knows how to sing and makes it his entire personality, which has helped him win every talent competition since JSS 1. Swag? None. Babes? He’s been friendzoned by everyone. But he can sing, at least.

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On the Blaze

6 Places You Can Easily Find Love Before 2022 Ends

Because you haven’t met a romantic companion yet, your enemies are making fun of you even though November is almost gone. But it’s never too late to fall in love. Let’s aid you in your own self-help.

INEC office 

Keep an eye out whenever you go to pick up your voter’s card since the love of your life might be there. At least you know the person is a responsible citizen who cares about Nigeria if you fall in love at the INEC office.

Someone’s marital home 

Your true soul mate might be someone else’s companion. Don’t allow a ridiculous thing like marriage prevent you from finding them.

The nation’s capital 

Why not have the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with there in Abuja, if Abuja can boast of having a travel influencer President?

Traffic

You already occupy all of your time there. Most especially in that Lagos traffic😩. It’s possible to fall in love there. To publicize your singlehood, you can hand out brochures or lug a megaphone around.

Market

No one is exactly sure what is sold in all of these large markets. So, who’s to say you can’t spend money on finding a lifelong partner?

Linkedin

Startup announcements do not always occur. Inform people from time to time that you’re looking for someone to wear pajamas to bed with.

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On the Blaze

Which, Rich Friends or Loyal Friends, Would You Rather Have?

It’s a nice day to talk about friends because it’s a contemplative Thursday, guys. 

We create friends, but life sorts them out, goes a proverb. 

We all need friends, but we can each decide what kind of friends we want to maintain. 

We all interact with people on a daily basis, and it is up to us to decide how, when, and why we decide to keep them as friends or closest friends. 

LOYAL FRIENDS: Good character may win people’s hearts; money cannot buy loyalty.

People’s love is a pathway to heart wealth. 

I think they’re both emotionally invested in it. 

Let’s discuss your opinions of this. 

Which Kind Of Friends—Rich Or Loyal—Would You Prefer?

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On the Blaze

Elon Musk named an African musician as his favorite musician. (Watch Video)

Elon Musk, a business magnate and the richest man on earth, has named Ghanaian singer Black Sherif as his top musical preference. 

Elon Musk claimed that he like Black Sherif’s music because he can identify with it and because it is his style of music. 

Given the number of people who would be curious to know Elon Musk’s favorite musician after viewing the interview, this is a significant endorsement for Blacko. 

Mr. Musk stated that he even performed a song by Black Sheriff the day before the interview and that he was looking forward to meeting him soon. 

Watch the video here: 

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On the Blaze

What’s Your Justification for Not Making Money?

Guys, it’s a nice day to suggest that God will punish poverty because it’s a thoughtful Wednesday. 

Almost everyone is out there engaging in some activity in an effort to obtain the mula. 

Both online and offline, there are more opportunities than ever before to earn extra money. 

That’s excellent, but the trick is knowing where to put your time-investment dollars. 

Although it is said that life does not always go as expected, we always strive for a better existence because money makes all of these things possible.

Let me know what you think about this BLAZERS. 

What Justification Do You Have for Not Making Money?

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On the Blaze

What Is More Painful Than A Heartbreak?

Heartbreaks are painful, yes. But have you ever considered that you might experience other, worse experiences in this life? 

You can never be ready for life. Sometimes excellent people experience horrible things. Like “plugging your phone all night to find that it didn’t charge when you wake up.” 

Like “being arrested for a crime you didn’t commit,” “becoming delayed in traffic when you have a crucial appointment,” or “losing your seat buddy during a challenging exam.”

Yes, these things are extremely painful, but when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. 

Let’s hear from you all, so please tell us. 

What Is More Disgusting Than A Heartbreak?

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On the Blaze

How can I finish my appointments early?

As we are all aware, it can be difficult to stay on schedule when we have appointments, whether it be for work, classes, or gatherings with friends and others. 

In Nigeria, the practice of scheduling catch-up appointments an hour or two later than the actual time is known as “Africa Man Time.” 

I’ll give you some advice in this article on how to get things done and schedule your appointments as early as feasible.

Here are five crucial pointers to help you arrive for appointments on time:

Review Your Plans. 

You must first evaluate your arrangements if you expect to keep appointments. Before you ultimately leave the house, the plans must be the most crucial things you need to set in motion. Make a list of them, consider them, then take action.

Set alarms. 

Personally, I find alarms to be really beneficial when attempting to keep on schedule occasionally. As we all know, it keeps you intact and acts as a quick reminder.

Put Your Plans Into Action. 

You must adhere to all the instructions in this phase, including the preparations you must make before leaving the house.

Do not use “African-Man Time”. 

Every Nigerian will be catching up with appointments an hour or two later at this same period. In this region of the planet, it occurs frequently. Today, avoid using African man time to catch up on appointments early.

Avoid Distracting Elements. 

You must avoid anything at this time that could impede you from completing the tasks required to get ready for your appointments. Avoid using your phones, laptops, Play Stations, and TV, and keep them out of the room. 

In conclusion, pay attention to your plans, consider them, set alarms, carry them out, and avoid using African man time to avoid missing appointments in the future.

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On the Blaze

What Relationship Belief Did You Once Have But No Longer Hold?

I’m an idealistic romantic. I enjoy giving and receiving affection. However, I am realistic enough to acknowledge that it is insufficient. 

I once believed that a relationship’s first love would result in marriage. 

I also used to think that only people in committed partnerships had sex, but now I realize that single people can enjoy more sex from various partners in committed relationships. 

In the end, those who are single are winning. 

I’ve always believed that maintaining the privacy of your relationship won’t force you to skip breakfast.

Now, I perceive things differently. Blazers, please! 

What is a relationship-related belief you once had but no longer do?