Welcome to this space, where I tell people what they should and should not do with food and drinks. Today we’ll talk about our food resolutions for the year. If you don’t want us to fight, do everything I’ve listed below.
Kill chicken
At your big age, you don’t know how to hold a chicken to the ground and kill it? Come on now. You’re too big for this. This is a skill people add to their CVs, and you don’t have it? Do better this year.
Chop semo. (Eat Semo)
Growing up means realising semo isn’t that bad, and people are just overdoing it with the slander. Give semo a try. I promise, you’ll see the light.
Attend more food events
Stop waiting for the end of the year to attend overcrowded food festivals. Many events happen throughout the year — BBQs, potlucks, yam and plantain festival, cocktails, etc. You just have to shine your eye and ears.
Eat Japanese food
Are you not tired of going to that Chinese restaurant every single time you’re looking for where to eat? You want to say you’ve also been to Japanese restaurants. Good for you (even though all you ate was sushi and rice).
Make homemade pasta
Just realised this isn’t as hard as all those fancy chefs makes it seem online. Apparently, you can even do this without some big-ass machine. I think everyone shoud make their own pasta at least once, just for the fun of it.
Have a cocktail competition
Gather your friends together and see who can make the best cocktail from basic ingredients. This is actually so much fun, and the fact that everyone will end up drunk is a bonus.
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Go outside your comfort zone
This year, just be adventurous with food. Try meals from other tribes you’ve only ever heard about online, try a difficult recipe, eat that food you stopped liking many years ago, eat at a beer parlour, put pineapples in your burger and cheese in pancakes. Just don’t be basic.
Drink water
Because you people always forget to drink at least two litres a day and that’s not healthy. I need y’all alive and well to read 626blaze articles.
Avoid fufu
Yes, semo is trash, but fufu is its oga. If you’re out here eating fufu, it means you can comfortably pick something from a toilet dustbin to eat.
Stop eating rice and tomato stew
We’re no longer in the days of our parents when the only thing they ate with white rice was either standard tomato stew or soup that was meant for swallow. There are way too many sauses out there for you to try with your rice. Don’t limit yourself.
Order something new at a restaurant
You order things like rice, burger, pasta, chicken and chips, and in your mind, you’ve gone to a restaurant to eat. Stop deceiving yourself. Open that menu, and order a meal with a name that’s hard to pronounce. Let’s start from there.