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FIVE NIGERIA MYTHS THAT SHOULD BE PASSED ON TO THE NEXT GENERATION

In a typical Nigerian home, there are stories our parents told that have lived with us through time and have been passed on from generation to generation and would likely still be passed on to the next generation.

Myths are told to scare or make one believe a particular thing does exist. Sometimes, it is told to make the recipient get something done or obey an order.

As much as there are weird myths, we can not fully conclude they contain no iota of truth.

The realization that all these myths are not so true came as we grew older, but deep down we know these myths would likely be passed onto our children.

Here are a few of these myths worthy to be passed on to the next generation;

1. A GIRL WILL GET PREGNANT IF A BOY TOUCHES HER.

At times, you would hear a young girl even a teenage girl saying; “don’t touch me o, my mum said I will get pregnant if I allow boys to touch me”

While growing up, we all were told this, and it instilled fear of unwanted pregnancy in both boys and girls as they already know the consequences of getting pregnant at an early age.

By now, we understood that this myth meant well as it was simply to make both boys and girls steer clear of immoral acts.

It is, however, one of the myths that should be passed on to the next generation as it easily passes across a message that cannot be said with actual words and a subtle way of educating young ones on ‘unwanted pregnancy’ early.

2. EATING WHILE STANDING MAKES THE FOOD STAY ON YOUR LEGS.

This particular myth automatically means once you eat while standing and the food stays in your leg, you will possibly experience hunger again, and in a typical Nigerian home, there is no food after you’ve just finished one.

This belief has made most kids heed the warning the myth passes across.

Eating while standing is a bad eating posture as it can also lead to discomfort from bloating, to cramps and gas.

This myth is one of those that should be passed on to the next generation.

3. ONLY SPIRITS SLEEP WITH THEIR LEGS ON THE WALL

As untrue as this might sound, it worked wonders in the sleeping posture of most of us especially when we were young as no one wants to be tagged a spirit.

Sleeping with the legs on the wall is considered a bad sleeping posture, one might develop an ache in the lower back.

It is undeniably one of the myths that should be passed on to the next generation.

4. SPIRITS WILL VISIT ANYONE WHO SLEEPS LATE

Some of us took this too seriously and hated sleeping late to the extent that as soon as the clouds turned dark we would have retired to bed for the fear of being taken away or visited by a spirit.

One advantage we got from this was it instilled a proper sleeping routine in us early enough.

Health-wisely, sleeping late itself is not advisable.

This myth should therefore be passed on to the next generation.

5. STARING AT THE SUN IS AN OFFENSE TO GOD

Once upon a time, starting right into the sun, a girl dared the sun to come down.

As silly as putting this into action is, we cannot deny that most of us have tried staring into the sun checking how long we can withstand its brightness.

This could probably explain why this myth came into existence.

This myth has also been of good advantage as it cautioned this act and has saved us the trouble of having to spend money on treating eye problems.

There are so many other interesting myths that have originated from Nigeria and have been passed on over time. What other myths do you know and feel should be passed on to kids as it might be of advantage to them? Let us know in the comment section.

 

 

 

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Story Time

WHO MADE DAVID MAD?

Alfreda suddenly turned face up, she had been lying down on her seat in the same position for some hours. The movement startled the old man sitting beside her, as she heard him gasp in shock, she looked over at him, he had that ‘what did you do that for’ expression on his face. She had to say something to appease the man or else he would unseat her and throw her out of the plane with his intense stare. “I’m sorry, I was feeling uncomfortable sleeping on my side,” she said.

Sleep has eluded her for days now.

She’s been on this plane for 8 hours and she still hasn’t slept even for a minute. It was no better on ground and in the sky, she had thought it can only get better while in the plane. She was wrong.

The images that pop up when she tries as much as to close her eyes to get a little rest are gory.

“David is not here on the plane with you, you have to take a few minutes of sleep. Try hard. Get him the fuck out of your mind and rest a little. You know you deserve better than a man like him,” that voice that has always been in her head said to her. The voice goes on and off, it comes to either console her, motivate her or like now, to scold her

“You know what? Just keep shut! If you do not get what my fear is about. You are just a passing voice, you can’t even help me, just disappear this very minute,” she murmured to herself.

It is easier said than done. It’s not as easy as the voice makes it seem. David has somehow imprinted fear of him in her.

The thought of David and what he said he would do to her engulfs her like cold as every minute passes by.

He is capable of doing the most unthinkable things, I know who and what he is.

Alfreda has had no peace like he had said since she packed her belongings out of his apartment three days ago and finally, out of town yesterday far away from him and his vileness. But why? She was the victim here for God’s sake! The victim of his psychotic behaviors! She turned in her seat for the umpteenth time and sighed heavily.

She had loved this man with all her heart, Where did everything go wrong? At the peak of their relationship, everything just came crashing down. One thing she knew is she was not at fault because she made sure to make their relationship work as much as she could.

It was David who was the orchestrator of the downfall that befell their relationship.

At first, David had sunk their finances into the mud. They both had agreed to keep a joint account and save twenty percent of their earnings in it, be it from their monthly salary, from proceedings of their side gigs or any other means. They were live-in couples and things were going really well and as planned, in-fact they had planned to move from their studio apartment into a bigger and more spacious apartment by the end of the year.

Then, all of a sudden the money in the joint account started reducing day after day. Anytime, she asks David about it, he assures and tells her it’s for a project introduced to him by his colleagues at the office and they needed as much money as possible to kickstart and keep it running.

At the point when it became obvious that he was going to empty all they’ve strived to save for the past three years, she became worried and had to call him to talk.

One day, she had reached out for her phone to call him. Picking up the phone to call him is a usual routine and she was used to it already and he was, too or so she thought. As soon as he answered her call, the next thing she heard was him yelling at her and saying what she could not process at that moment and up till now, she still did not understand what caused that outburst from him.

“Hello honey,” she said as soon as she heard his voice over the phone.

No reply.

“How’s work moving?” She asked and got no reply from him again.

He sure could hear her well, she could hear him breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong Dav? Are you okay? Why are you not responding? You don’t sound okay? Is work tedious today? Should I come to drive you around town so you can cool off a bit?” A wave of restlessness came upon when she still did not get a response from the other end of the phone. She was about to look for footwear to put on when she suddenly heard him speak.

“Look Al, I need you to know the appropriate time to call and not to call, your call just made me loose a fucking deal! You need to learn from other girls who do not use calls to disturb their man during the day and do better.”

Alfreda stiffened at the snap in David’s voice remembering that David was all charms when dealing with her, something must be wrong at work then. He had abruptly cut off the call. She would wait patiently for him at home and get to know what went wrong.

He came home very late that night but she did not question him, he showered, ate a little, went up to the room and slept immediately. Thankfully, the next day was a weekend, David does not go to the office on weekends so she decided to bring up the matter the next day.

Alfreda stood up very early the next day, to sort out house chores so she and David could have time to talk without any distractions. She went back into the bedroom and saw David already awake. David is no doubt a handsome man. He was a tall, dark, athletically built man in his late twenties and very aware of his good looks and physique. That drowsy half-awake expression on his face every morning never ceases to make her heart flutter. As Alfreda closed the door behind her, she moved further into the room and made her way to the bed, she bent down to kiss David on the cheek and immediately felt a tingle spread through to her spine. David pulled her closer and attempted to deepen the kiss but she escaped his embrace and proceeded to open the window blinds. She knows if she obliges him, they would forget the issue at hand totally.

It was glaring that he has been avoiding talking about what has been going on with him.

She was busy dusting the window with her back still turned towards him as she said,

“David, you know we have to talk right? About what you’ve been up to this past few months. I deserve to be informed about it and no! We won’t talk about this later but right now.”

She could feel David’s eyes boring intensely into her back. And right there and then, she knew.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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Nigerians Must Stop Doing Weird Things for Politicians

One of the best feelings for Nigerian politicians is knowing they have people who care about them enough to go to any length to help them.

And love causes strange things to happen, but some people on this list like to go overboard. We need them to think more deeply before acting.

Election-related violence

Electoral violence is as old as Nigerian politics, and it’s unfortunate that the pawns of the game are still unaware that they mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. People who will be left to their fate after elections are the ones who physically manipulate the process in order for unqualified people to march into office.

The trend of electoral violence has dipped in recent election cycles, but those who haven’t gotten the message should realize they’re on a fool’s errand.

Fighting for politicians among your friends

As online political discourse has become more toxic over the last eight years, the trend of severing ties with longtime associates over support for politicians has grown.

The main appeal of democracy is that it allows everyone to voice their opinions responsibly without fear of repercussions, but this isn’t always the case between supporters from opposing camps.

Worse, the politicians for whom they are fighting these battles are publicly friends after the elections are over and don’t care about your private relationships. But there you are, cutting yourself off from your own friends.

Trekking interstate

Nigerian voters have upheld a strange tradition of doing interstate treks as a declaration of love for their favorite candidates. Suleiman Hashimu, the most famous of the trekkers, walked 750 kilometers in 18 days from Lagos to Abuja to celebrate Buhari’s 2015 victory. Buhari gave him a handshake and eight years of whatever Nigeria is now.

Dahiru Buba, another infamous Buhari trekker who walked from Gombe to Abuja with his legs in 2015, required financial assistance in 2020 to treat limb pains caused by his unnecessary walk.

You’d think that these consequences would deter future trekkers, but some supporters are already trekking from state to state in support of presidential candidates running in 2023.

Drinking gutter water

Voting for a candidate who goes on to win an election is always cause for celebration for most people. Most normal people would add an extra piece of meat to their rice or go out with friends for a few bottles of beer. But for Bauchi State’s Aliyu Muhammad Sani, Buhari’s re-election victory in 2019 was an excuse to take a full dive into a garbage-filled gutter.

Sani had promised to swim inside a gutter and drink drainage water if Buhari was elected, but perhaps this was the one time it was acceptable to act like a Nigerian politician and not follow through on a promise. To be more specific, swimming in a garbage-filled gutter is hazardous to our health and vision.

Showing your naked bum bum to the internet

Nothing prepares you for logging onto social media and seeing someone’s grandfather at the beach praying to God to help his candidate win. However, Ebun Oloyede, a Nigerian actor, did not consider this when he subjected millions of Nigerians to a video clip of himself completely naked, with a back view that no one asked for or deserved.

We’re pretty sure Oloyede hasn’t dedicated this much to a film role before, so why do it for politics? Let this be the last time, sir.

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Santa Claus, Our only Christmas wish is for a new Nigeria.

Dear Santa,

I’m writing this letter on behalf of all Nigerians. I’m not here to request an iPad or a car, though if you could, that would be fantastic (especially the car, as I’m sick of riding the danfo bus). No, this is a request for a better Nigeria.

Honestly, Santa, I have beef with you. How do you have the power to give people whatever they want (as long as they’ve been good), and you haven’t given me the better Nigeria I’ve been asking for? I’ve been a good girl for so long: I’ve stopped stealing meat from the pot in the middle of the night, I now do chores without complaining. Meanwhile, our evil Nigerian leaders continue to acquire new cars, houses, vacations, and so on. Is it equitable? Who are you on?

I’ve returned to inquire. And I need you to come through for me and other Nigerians now more than ever. 2022 has been a particularly difficult year for us. ASUU went on strike for eight months, threatening students’ lives. Some even abandoned school to start their own businesses. This year, the national grid failed more times than people at a Michael Jackson concert. Electricity supply was limited, affecting business and other aspects of people’s daily lives. The answer is yes.

Then there was the insane inflation. Food prices seemed to double every week. Santa, Double Chickwizz is now 1,500 (it was 1,000 at the start of 2022), can you believe it? One pack of Indomie costs 140 (was 70), evaporated milk costs 600 (was 300), yam costs 2000 (was 800), and one egg costs 100 (was 50). Do you see how we’re suffering?

Also, insecurity is at an all-time high, with people being laid off or owed salaries for months, the naira depreciating, SARS still operating, and no one has responded to the Lekki tollgate massacre of 2020.

If you’re wondering what our leaders are doing about these issues, they’re out there being actors, influencers, travel bloggers, content creators, dancers, and jokers, devising policies that will make Nigerians’ lives even more difficult. And that’s why I’ve come to you for help, Santa. Can you make a new Nigeria your Christmas gift to all Nigerians? We’ve seen enough shege abeg.

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How effective is juju (jass)?


Guys, gather around and tell your juju tales because I used to eat my grandpa’s juju’s eggs, urinate in their faces while I was at the shrine, and steal most of their money back then. 


Even worse, I would play with the juju, deface the shrine, beat them with a cane, and even throw them away. 

Even now, everything makes sense. They seem to be afraid of me, isn’t it? My brother and I go to a certain brook where we frequently swim to skulk in the underbrush every December. People typically do leave their offerings by this creek. You can trust me to consume all the sacrifices, including biscuits, Coke, Fanta, and occasionally rice and stew. 

We would pee on them, pull them off, and gorge ourselves on the fruits. Usually, these farms had pineapples and bananas that were ripped, protected with juju. Sincerely speaking, nothing occurred prior to today. Truth be told, ‘Na mumu dey fear juju.’

We West Africans would be on the Forbes list in full if this juju thing worked. But na them Bill Gates, Elon Musk and co dey there. Just so you know we don get new world richest man sha, him name na Bernard Arnault.

If juju is real, why aren’t we using it for our nation? You sef think am!

Last but not least, please refrain from telling me that this juju of a thing is true. I will not doubt anything juju again if you can show me that it is real by bringing it out in the open.