Twitter isn’t all that unlike from many Nigerian markets. Everyone is welcome to enter, and after spending some time there, you won’t be as astonished by what your two koro koro eyes are seeing.
If you use Twitter correctly, you should see all of these people on your timeline (TL).
Alpha males
“As a guy, you ought never to be seen with an umbrella. Declare your authority by telling the rain, “If you touch me, I’ll smack you.” Become a man.
People who get upset at everything
It could be just them.
Those who must always hold divergent opinions
These people wait for everyone to establish an opinion before stating the exact opposite—while still using bbuzzwords, mind you—in an effort to appear educated. “Some of us are wise, every other person overwise,” as Ololade mi Asake once said.
Christians
On the TL, someone is constantly extolling the virtues of Christ or another favorite deity. Additionally, you’ll see someone post a testimony of a miracle God performed for them online.
Always eager to drag Christians are certain individuals.
These people are ready to pull anyone who mentions the name “Jesus” if they hear it used in this manner. So Jesus kept you from dying, I see. Why didn’t he save everyone else who perishes every day?
Relationship people
You’re browsing Twitter alone, trying to find something to distract you from the breakup text you just got. The next thing you know, you’re wondering if you’re actually a real human being or a potato after seeing a picture of individuals celebrating their 12-year anniversary with before and after pictures.
Football people
Possibly the most insane but also the funniest folks on the platform. You’ll be OK if you let them carry on with their banter. Anything you receive if you, a non-football person, try to criticize their club or favorite players, consider it as such.
Doctors
Since I receive all of my unsolicited medical advice from Twitter doctors, I haven’t visited the hospital in years. Regards, folks.
Comrade and vawulence people
It reminds me of insects. You can’t really see them right away (TL). However, as soon as you open the cabinets, you’ll notice them swarming all over the place in their vast numbers. To make sure everyone is comfortable while watching the “vawulence,” they even offer refreshments and seats.
Follow for follow people
No Twitter user should have fewer than 8,000 followers, ifb. Let’s begin a thread that is follow for follow. Those who liked this tweet should be followed. I’ll go back with everyone else. this significant 2022. SMH.
UI/UX Design Twitter
These people are always “experimenting” with Figma and “inadvertently” creating well-planned product designs.
Influencers
Twitter serves as their workplace. Do they actually use the things they’re promoting, or are they just getting paid to say that? Don’t worry, it’s never really challenging to tell.