“Some people have never received valentine packages” and similar posts are probably the first thing you’d come across as you log in to any social media platform on the 14th of February every year. Some playfully refer to it as a day to apply pressure and ‘press the necks’ of single people. But, has there ever been a day single people have not been subjected to pressure from couples? Those people have always been restricting our air flows! God abeg!
To those of us single, it’s just another day to be reminded of our inexistent love life and to be further pressured while those in relationships seem to pressure us with uploads of pictures and video evidence of them exchanging Valentine’s packages or gifts, flowers, and so on. The work automatically assigned to the singles on this day is to display the ‘raise am, raise am’ act. Some do this by liking the couples’ posts, exclaiming, and leaving comments like ‘he-he’ ‘ awwn’ ‘God abeg’ and ‘God when’ while some will rather hiss, squeeze their faces, and scrunch their nose as they scroll past the posts with a speed of light.
People’s opinions about Valentine’s Day vary. Some view this day as ‘overhyped’, some deem it important and look forward to it every year while some think it is just like every other day. What then is the big deal about Valentine`s Day? For the lucky few, it’s a day of happiness and to further bond with one another, for others it’s a day that opens up old wounds.
Now, here comes the question, Is Valentine’s Day really what it should be nowadays?
What’s Valentine’s Day about?
Valentine’s Day is all about love.
St. Valentine. Patron of love.
Valentine’s Day was presented in honor and remembrance of St. Valentine, a Roman priest. It is said that this man displayed love in its greatest form for the church through dedication and laying down His life. Since then, Valentine`s has been celebrated as a day of “love”. A day celebrated between loved ones with a theme colour of white and red that symbolizes this special day.
Gradually, Valentine’s Day evolved from the celebration of St. Valentine’s sacrificial love to a day for individuals, friends, and families to rekindle and keep the fire of their undying love burning bright, to ensure their bond wax stronger, and to appreciate one another through admirable gestures, such as exchange of beautiful words, and substantial gifts that further preach love to their loved ones. But, spoiler alert!!!
Valentine’s Day has lost its actual substance and uniqueness. The exchange of material things is used to measure the extent of love between couples nowadays. High expectations competition for who got the most expensive gifts is now the order of the day during Valentine’s Day. Comparison of what others did to what their partners did for them now matters over the actual real love that should be celebrated because many are now wired to believe the only genuine way their partners can sincerely establish their love for them is through expensive gifts which should not be so.
Valentine’s Day has been reduced to one single day that is all about overhyped excitement of partners who forget being good or showing love to one another for the rest of the year. The majority have misplaced perceptions about Valentine’s Day and celebrate it just to follow the bandwagon.
Series of events on Valentine’s Day.
We witness diverse happenings on Valentine’s Day, some lovely and prayer point worthy while some are filled with sad experiences. The lucky few get appreciated, and some get served premium breakfast as ‘e dey hot’.
We see instances of a cheating partner getting exposed as Valentine packages and their bearers collide with one another in the house of a girlfriend or vice versa. Both men and women are dumbfounded as they witness or see videos of their supposed partners presenting gifts to another person.
For people like this, Valentine’s Day will forever be a sour day until someone somewhere, the right man or woman appears to change their view about it.
Then, there are the ones who experience kindness from real partners who immensely understand and incorporate intentionality on a normal day aside the Valentine’s Day. To them, Valentine’s Day is just a plus one day to wax stronger and a reminder that their love can’t be shaken.
I know at this point, you’re wondering how to reset the true purpose of Valentine’s Day.
Here are some updates;
• As a person with an active relationship, avoid exerting pressure on your partners to get you expensive gifts as regards Valentine’s Day, as this is somehow unkind and stressful. Do away with High expectations and let your main focus be on growing to be better in your relationship. If your partner is not buoyant enough to get you any gift whatsoever, spend quality time with them, bond over meaningful things on this day might be a movie night in your room, or a game night. Indulge in any other interest you have observed, which sparks joy in your partner.
• If you have once been hurt on Valentine’s Day, it’s understandable if your view about it changed completely after that experience but trust me, you’re deserving of love in its purest form. Be open-minded and give love another try.
…like let me embrace my ‘single to stupor’ life.
• To those of us single, let us keep exclaiming ‘God when’ to couples pictures! I’d advise us to not be a troll under couple’s posts or take memes or posts pointing at our dilemma to heart. Have it in mind that one of these days “God go run am” And if all those get to you, you better go find a partner! Or humor yourself and order a Valentine’s package for yourself, take pictures, and caption it “Valentine gifts from my man/woman” so you too won’t ‘carry last’
In all, we should be willing to rewire our ethos on the perception of Valentine’s Day. It’s all about love and love is all about being sacrifial, pure, selfless, and not materialistic as material things are just a plus. Therefore, all-round love should be the order of the day.