Category: End Of The Year

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End Of The Year Let’s talk

Santa Claus, Our only Christmas wish is for a new Nigeria.

Dear Santa,

I’m writing this letter on behalf of all Nigerians. I’m not here to request an iPad or a car, though if you could, that would be fantastic (especially the car, as I’m sick of riding the danfo bus). No, this is a request for a better Nigeria.

Honestly, Santa, I have beef with you. How do you have the power to give people whatever they want (as long as they’ve been good), and you haven’t given me the better Nigeria I’ve been asking for? I’ve been a good girl for so long: I’ve stopped stealing meat from the pot in the middle of the night, I now do chores without complaining. Meanwhile, our evil Nigerian leaders continue to acquire new cars, houses, vacations, and so on. Is it equitable? Who are you on?

I’ve returned to inquire. And I need you to come through for me and other Nigerians now more than ever. 2022 has been a particularly difficult year for us. ASUU went on strike for eight months, threatening students’ lives. Some even abandoned school to start their own businesses. This year, the national grid failed more times than people at a Michael Jackson concert. Electricity supply was limited, affecting business and other aspects of people’s daily lives. The answer is yes.

Then there was the insane inflation. Food prices seemed to double every week. Santa, Double Chickwizz is now 1,500 (it was 1,000 at the start of 2022), can you believe it? One pack of Indomie costs 140 (was 70), evaporated milk costs 600 (was 300), yam costs 2000 (was 800), and one egg costs 100 (was 50). Do you see how we’re suffering?

Also, insecurity is at an all-time high, with people being laid off or owed salaries for months, the naira depreciating, SARS still operating, and no one has responded to the Lekki tollgate massacre of 2020.

If you’re wondering what our leaders are doing about these issues, they’re out there being actors, influencers, travel bloggers, content creators, dancers, and jokers, devising policies that will make Nigerians’ lives even more difficult. And that’s why I’ve come to you for help, Santa. Can you make a new Nigeria your Christmas gift to all Nigerians? We’ve seen enough shege abeg.

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End Of The Year Lifestyle

If you’re a Nigerian living abroad, use these strategies to deal with winter loneliness.

It’s a difficult time for Nigerians living abroad. It’s colder than your motherland, and all of your friends are at home with their families. If you’re lucky, your own family will be there to support you. How will you get through this without going insane?

We have suggestions.

Enter someone else’s relationship

If you’re desperate enough, there’s a solution for everything. Enter a relationship that is not yours, either with permission or by force. They believe they can snuggle together while wearing matching pyjamas? Demonstrate to them that ‘Naija no dey carry last.’

Buy plenty mirrors

The mind is not as intelligent as we imagine it to be. That is why there are illusions and magic. Surround your room with mirrors so that when you walk in, you feel like you’re in a room full of people just like you. Abi, don’t you like yourself?

Do igbeux and shayo

What else can make you feel less isolated? When you start to feel lonely, take something that will make you believe your family is in the room with you, commenting on your weight and asking when you’re going to marry. Just like in the old days.

Join a coven

If you are unable to find physical companionship, you can always turn to the spiritual plane. The winch was not caught by the cold. Furthermore, witches and wizards all over the world use brooms to fly. You won’t have to trek or disappear with bad graphic effects.

If witchcraft isn’t your thing, find a spirit husband or wife. We have a comprehensive tutorial.

Come back to Nigeria👀

Please return home. Isn’t this normal flooding, insecurity, and inflation? Is that why you want to freeze in another country? Come home jo, let’s throw banger together🥱

This is not the voice of your village people😂.

Set your goals for next year

It’s always a good idea to spend time lying to yourself about what you want to start, stop, and achieve in the coming year. Write down one goal per day and reflect on it. Before you know it, time has passed and winter has come to an end.

Sleep a lot

Someone who is awake realizes there is no one for them to play with. Sleep, wake up, eat, and return to bed. It has only been three months of doing this every day. Work that is simple.